Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Quando gli uomini armarono la clava... e con le donne fecero din-don

Here is a rare Cavegirl film starring the gorgeous Nadia Cassini (more on her in the next post), the 1971 Italian comedy film Quando gli uomini armarono la clava... e con le donne fecero din-don (When Men were Armed with Clubs and Women Played Ding-dong). 

This is an update of Aristophanes' Ancient Greek play the Lysistrata.  To ram the point home Cassini's character is actually called Lisistrata (or Listra in the American dubbed version called when Women Played Ding-dong, released in 1974).

Two rival prehistoric tribes, the cave dwelling Cavernicoli,  and the lake-dwelling Acquamanni are almost constantly at war.

During a rare period of peace a caveman, Ari, wins the young virgin, Lysistrata (Cassini), in a pig catching contest but their attempts to have nuptual "ding-dong" are constantly interrupted by battles between the tribes as Ari has to go off to fight. 

Lysistrata, fed up with the fact that Ari seems to prefer war than her (he must be an idiot!) organises the women of both tribes to go on sa ex strike and they leave their respective villages for a mountain hideaway until the men opt for peace. 

We actually caught some of this truly dreadful film on Italian TV some years ago and the only thing in its favour is the number of high quality Italian starlets prancing around in minimal cavegirl outfits (and often less).

Do you prefer your prehistoric women dressed in grass...

The cavegirls favour the prototypical fur bikini ensemble whilst their lake dwelling caverns go in for some enticing grass numbers.

...or fur?

The Director and co-writer was Bruno Corbucci  (1931-1996) best known for writing the screenplay of  the seminal spaghetti western, Django (1966). He directed over 50 films between 1965 and 1995 so he wasn't exactly Stanley Kubrick. 

More notoriously he wrote and directed Messalina, Messalina (1977) which was also known as Caligula 2.  The latter film was quickly churned out using the sets and costumes from Penthouse publisher Bob Guccione's Caligula (1979) as it looked like the original film might never get released and the producers were desperate to make any money back they could. Messalina, Messalina starred Penthouse Pet of the Year for 1975 Anneka Di Lorenzo (real name Marjorie Lee Thoreson) and was just as dreadful as this cavegirl film but at least it was redeemed somewhat by the sets and the presence of not just Anneka but Penthouse model Lori Wagner as well. 

Likewise Quando gli uomini... is only bearable because of the presence of Ms Cassini (technically at the time Contessa Cassini) and she will be the subject of our next post.

It is available on DVD in the US under the American title of When Women Played Ding-dong but the DVD version has 13 minutes cut from the Italian original which is basically all the nudity.  Americans are peculiar about nudity!

The German version treats the film as a sequel to the earlier When Women had Tails and When Women lost their Tails (more on which anon) which, apart from the prehistoric setting they are not.  The German DVD uses the cut US version too, sadly.


Incidentally, the annoying theme tune of the film seems to be largely based on The Trashmen's Surfin' Bird, which recently reached number 3 in the UK music charts as a result of an (unsuccessful) internet campaign to deny the Simon Cowell machine the Christmas number 1 for his X Factor winner.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Jungle Girl 2: Claudette Colbert in Four Frightened People


From 1934 comes this early babe in animal skins outfit from the Cecil B DeMille film Four Frightened People.   The film tells the story of four people who escape their bubonic plague-ridden ship only to have to trek through the Malayan jungle whilst being attacked by snakes, wild animals and hostile native tribesmen.

Colbert plays a prim and mousy librarian who gradually, during the course of the film, becomes more assertive and more desirable.  No more desirable than in this early animal skin outfit.

DeMille had got Colbert to strip off in The Sign of the Cross two years earlier and she obliged him again by showering naked in a waterful (a staple of jungle girl films!).  The film was made just before the voluntary "Hay's Code" governing inappropriate sequences on screen became mandatory and required that films be given a certificate before they could be shown.   The film was so racy that when it was re-released post-certification 17 minutes was cut from it.  

Whilst showering, a chimpanzee (the film has a vague notion of the fauna of Asia) snatches her dress requiring her to fashion an outfit from banana leaves.  She then graduates to the animal skin outfit featured here.

As the trailer at the time said "They reveal just how rapidly the polite mould of civilization disintegrates under the influence of the jungle. These people shed civilization when they shed their clothes. They become like animals of the jungle, fighting and loving, like the beasts who terrify them!"

Colbert was thirty-one when this film was made (she was born in 1903) but still looks gorgeous.  Born in Paris, but moving to the US when she was three years old, she died in 1996 at the age of 92!

The film itself was a failure and lost money, however, as audiences had come to expect big spectacle from DeMille which, despite being filmed on location in the South Seas this didn't deliver. 

Jungle Girl 1

These pictures are from a fashion magazine from some years ago (late eighties?) we think she is not so much a cavegirl in a fur bikini as a representative of their cousins, jungle girls.  Agent Triple P was in the African bush earlier this month but didn't see anything like this, sadly.

She looks like a nice Lost World explorer's daughter gone native, anyway.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Cavegirl catfight!

We have now migrated this blog to our more adult incarnation which will enable us to post some of the racier cavegirl photographs we have collected and, hopefully, enable us to do more regular updates.

To get us started, here are a nice pair (quartet?) of battling cavegirls.  Cavegirl catfights were a strong feature of films such as One Million Years BC no doubt, as ever, reflecting pre-historical reality.

Times were hard in the Stone Age and then, as now, cavegirls had to compete for men, food, drink, shiny beads and to-die-for moccasins. 

These two don't seem to be exhibiting quite the vicious passion of Raquel Welch and Martine Beswick but then they are probably just scratting about who gets the pretty shell or the next pair of Ugg boots the cave shoemaker cobbles together. 

No doubt they will soon kiss and make up, cast off their fur bikinis and ease their bruises together in a nice, hot spring.